Empowering Self; Stepping up to who you want to be

Posted on July 11, 2016. Filed under: Blogroll, Coaching, The Real and the Raw, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

What would it be like to literally ‘step out of your problems’? 

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I like to call it personal empowerment.  Giving ourselves the power to get where we want to be.

Let’s take an example: Have you ever felt resistance to having that difficult conversation with your colleague/boss/spouse/friend?  Or filing your tax returns? Or cleaning out the garage?  Or writing up that report that has been on your desk for ages?

It’s there waiting. You know you have to do it, and yet your feet are stuck in the cement of paralysis, of procrastination; there’s just no time right now to take this on.

Some people say they need the pressure of the approaching deadline to actually muster the determination to get it done.  But wait just a minute…  Think about how you feel every time you look at that report sitting there, or the reminder in your agenda to get something done… What is that like for you?

For me I tend to slide from frustration to irritation and at times into panic.  Stuck in my tracks.

More importantly I don’t feel good about myself.  Like I’m the only one here not moving forward.  And that rattles my self-confidence while eating up the energy I need to simply take the step of getting started.  I feel tired and disappointed. Yucko.

That’s where being a coach comes in handy.  I have learned to apply a few coaching steps to myself!

Three helpful fundamentals of coaching include:

  1. Clarifying the situation – what is the real problem/objective here?
  2. Defining a clear description of exactly how I want something to be. A description so clear I can FEEL what that would be like. The relief of sending off my tax file, the satisfaction with my tidy garage, the power of having asked for a raise, the release of having had that needed conversation.
  3. Drawing up a list of possible actions and getting started on the one which seems easiest; the smallest first step. Then taking that first step. Being satisfied with the first step.

There is something about the energy released once I’ve stepped up to a commitment that feels empowering to me.  It makes moving forward, up and out a possibility. It usually is enough to spur me onto taking the next step and I am often surprised that those steps are far easier than I had imagined before when all I could focus on was the problem.

And that is part of the secret.  Neurosciences has shown that our brain seeks to find what it is focused on.  Focus on the problem and you will find more of it.  Focus on what it is you want and your brain will begin to hunt for that. 

Finding the support you need.

Obviously working with a coach makes it easier.

  • Coaching helps build clear images of what you really want.
  • Coaching helps raise awareness of how we undermine our own success and determines the accountability for taking those steps we commit to.
  • Coaching brings a huge booster effect through the human connection which holds the space of our transition from being stuck to being empowered.

So with a coach or on your own isn’t it time to feel your power?

It’s time to step out of the problem and get into the solution now!

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